Hey there! Read this? This quote from our friend from England? I bet that right now when you’re experiencing rush hour crowd this “INCREDIBLE CAVALCADE” which he loved seems pretty much BS right now, right?
So now like you’ve already noticed, there is a second and a first class. I have been lucky(?) enough to seldom travel in second class but still i shall give you gist of whatever I have noticed while i traveled in it. So when you get in you’re welcome to angry stares from aunties because you have either stamped on them or managed to hit them somehow.
THUMB RULE OF TRAVELING IN LOCAL TRAN WITHOUT GETTING ANGRY STARES:
Tell the aunty/didi/ladki/kaki/chachi in front of you to go ahead. Even if you don’t see any place, say it. Because for these women, there is always “andar-kitna-sara-jagah hai-fir”. [Loads of place inside]
Your conversation could be like this:
YOU: “Aunty/Didi/Excuse me/Kaki, Thoda andar shift karo na please.” [Please shift inside a little]
AUNTY: *angry stare enough to burn holes in you*
“ TUMKO JAGAH DIKH RAHI HAI KYA?” [Do you see any room?]
{In this case best to blame it on peeche wali ladki [girl behind you] and shut up}
OR
DIDI: “Yes, I am trying just let *any station where shitloads of people get down* pass.”
{Till then, suffocate}
OR
Excuse me (mostly a girl younger than you): *In a voice that would make you wonder if she going to burst in tears*
“I am trying but there is no place, is it like this every day?”
{If you are a local here you’d mostly show off how brave you are by trying to make space for her and explaining her the tactics of pushing people and making space.}
OR
KAKI (Mostly old women):
“Beta mujhe toh saans lene nahi ho rahi”. [Cannot breathe dear]
*extremely heavy breathing and eye rolling at abnormal speeds*
{Never worry for these cases, there’s always one and no one ever dies.}
Even after this you somehow will manage to get inside, and then you have to perform a ritual.
The Possession.
In this, you don’t give a fuck if the person sitting is sleeping or eating or praying or reading, you do every possible gestures (Includes all the movements below.) and then ask them where they’re getting down.
In this, the rule is to never say no to claiming anybody’s seat even if they’re getting down o n the station before yours. NEVER. EVER. And now you wait. And do what I love doing. Observe people, read random pages of random novels that random people read, catch up on news, eavesdrop conversations and give mental opinions, peek at people’s text over their shoulders (Not a good idea always, because if that chick’s getting all baby-honey-sweetie-chocopie-applepie-lifeofpi on her boyfriend, chances are you’ll go into depression of not having one) .
Specimens of these characters coming up in the next article.
Loads of Love,
Blondie. ⭐ 
shimmerrandshine 