So let’s get straight to the Specimens of the locals. Oh yes, BELOVED LOCAL TRAINS, if you’re looking at me with ARE-YOU-KIDDING-ME-EYES. WHY? Because like Vada Pav, Marine Drive and Bollywood, a Mumbaikar can never hate local trains, and they’re lying if they say they hate em. Deep down, they have a special spot for all these things.
Let’s just start with the ones I absolutely despise. Like Jews hated Hitler, like we all hate Cersei Lannister for being a bitch (I hate her much more, enough to write a hate list which never ends), Like we hate Bellatrix for killing Sirius and Dobby. Erm, you get the picture.
I PRESENT TO YOU (WITH HEAPS OF LOATHING): THE MIMOSA PUDICAS. (AKA THE TOUCH-ME-NOTS)
These are the untouchables. No no no no. I am not being racist. (-_-) If you saw the name properly, it says touch “ME” not. These ladies are the types that find everything disgusting. Literally everything. If you were to give sanitizer bottles to them, they’d find em also revolting. You can’t have one square millimeter of your skin, one strand of hair touching them, also your bags can’t touch them, not even your SHADOW should fall on them. Yep. No kidding.
AND THAT MAKES ME WONDER WHY THEY DON’T BUY A PRIVATE VEHICLE AND SPARE EVERY ONE THE SELF-PITY THAT’S INDUCED THANKS TO THEM. OR MAY BE WRAP YOURSELF IN A BUBBLE WRAP OR A CLING FILM OR ALUMINIUM FOIL OR WHATEVER. THEY HAVE MORE ISSUES THAN SHELDON COOPER ABOUT GETTING TOUCHED.
And the glare they give,
it’s like you stamped their face with your foot when in reality the Big toe part of your shoe touches their shoe. I KID YOU NOT. THESE CRANKY FEMALES DO EXIST. And God forbid you happen to actually hurt them in some small way by chance, *deep sigh*. For example, your hand slips and happens to give a small pat on their shoulder, they will gasp as if you have dislocated the entire hand.
MY ADVICE: RETURN THE COURTESY OF THE SCOWLS OR BETTER, IGNORE. LIKE THEY DO NOT EXIST.
NEXT ON MY HATE LIST ARE: Wannabe College Girls.
These are like the girls from early Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan movies. They’re the Indian version of blondes. Usually found in a group of 5-6 sorority sisters who giggle at every joke which isn’t even a joke, laugh like a electric current is passing through them and head bang like they’re listening to Metallica or EDM music (a peek at their mobile screens and its a Yo-Yo Honey Singh track playing) {-_-} And they dress up pretty decently you know, wearing wrist bands of Avicii or Linkin Park or T-shirts with HIMYM quotes and you think “Oh! There’s some one relatable”. And two minutes later they start discussing what happened yesterday in Baalika Vadhu {Crappy Indian TV show} and you’re sitting there doing,
And they are so self engrossed, they’ll walk all over you and still not realise it. *SIGH*
MY ADVICE: Sit back and enjoy the blonde moments.
Many more Specimens coming up,
Until then,
Shitloads of Love,
Blondie ⭐ 
shimmerrandshine 
😂😂😂 hilarious throughout!